Peeping into the lives of other people has never been easier. All thanks to the digital technology. We can spend a full hour scrolling through the Instagram pics of someone else’s seemingly perfect lives and not even notice it. And all too often these lives of others look like a parade of endless parties, fun road trips and harmonious relationships.
As a reflex, we start estimating our own worth, often feeling flawed and inadequate in light of what we see. We feel pressured into thinking that our imperfections are the ones to blame. Even more so, we start questioning the choices and the decisions we make.
Sometimes we even think that to attain this level of impeccability, we need to shoot for the stars and radically change our lives. Which, frankly, sounds very intimidating.
But are we really seeing the big picture here? Hardly anyone likes to display their imperfections, so think how much is left behind the curtains. In reality we’re not really peeping into anyone’s anything. It’s more like we are inside a photo gallery that showcases only the well-selected pieces.
Buying into the illusion of perfection we end up feeling bad about our own lives.
So, the truth is this: there’s no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect life. And that’s the beauty of it. Flaws and imperfections complete us. They are the reflection of our experience and we wouldn’t have unique personalities if it weren’t for them.
All the natural things in life are beautiful because they are not perfect: oddly-shaped trees, funny-looking clouds, quirky mountain ranges… Just look around you. Even plant leaves are not perfectly symmetrical in spite of what they seem.
So, as you can see, there’s always room for imperfection.
By recognizing the beauty in the imperfect things, we can change the way we see ourselves. As well as we can adopt the mindset that celebrates the perfectly imperfect. This way we can become more accepting of what we have and appreciate our jobs, homes, family and friends even more.
Alternatively, trying to fill in someone else’s shoes we want many things to happen very quickly. That’s why some of our goals may seem terrifying: 'learn 10 new skills in a week', 'become very successful fast', 'change the life around'. And if we can’t deliver, we end up feeling disappointed.
But the trick is to realize that the small things are the ones that make a big change. So, instead of learning 10 new skills in a week, start with just one, commit to it and then gradually move on to the next one. And, step-by-step, you’ll definitely get there.
Abstract goals like ‘become successful’ or ‘change my life’ sound too confusing. Think about the things that hold you back from becoming successful, or what exactly it is you want to change in your life and why.
As corny is it sounds, the key to making our lives a better place is happiness. And if you want to be happy, you might want to stop trying to be perfect.
By chasing perfection, we miss out on life and waste valuable time that could be put to good use.
Like to finding your true passion. You know, something you really love doing.
Maybe you are very creative or have great communication skills. Think about all the things you are naturally good at. This time without social pressure, your opinion only. You don’t have to come up with an answer right away. It takes time to figure out what you like as well as what you don’t. The latter is important too, because leaving behind the things that don’t work is a big step already.
Besides, when we idealize the lives of others we provoke our inner critic. He is the one to stop us from being more decisive and daunting. But the critic is really just our own perception of us through the lens of insecurities, inhibitions and childhood fears. It’s our own voice that says that we’ll never be good enough to learn new skills, go on a hiking trip, start own business, move to a foreign land, the list goes on. But think about it this way: if you never try anything new you will lose a chance to establish new connections, experience positive emotions and grow as a person.
No one’s life is perfect, so instead of thinking that your life is not fulfilling or exciting enough compared to others, use social media, magazine articles and promotional campaigns for inspiration.
Simply engage with the people and follow the webpages that motivate you to become better at what you do or give you new ideas. Especially since more and more people are now embracing a more sincere and open approach to storytelling. Seeing others share their honest experience full of ups and downs, we learn to accept and love our own flaws.
By letting go of perfectionism we can finally stop sabotaging ourselves and change the way we see our own lives. Because there are no such things as impeccable houses, families, relationships. It never works like that. But having all these imperfections is what makes our lives so interesting and us human.